Parenting Styles (this is going to be a long one)

Disclaimer: This is purely opinion and not based on anyone in particular in my everyday life! Enjoy!

I have really been focusing lately on getting my parenting back on track because while I was in the previously mentioned funk I may or may not have let a few things slide when it came to my kids and the way I handled situations. I also had become a monster to live with as I am sure Kevin would never admit but secretly wanted to divorce and decided that I needed to make some major changes so my children didn't end up turning into mini monsters. Now that I am back on track I have been noticing the way people parent their children and have become in tune with the various parenting styles out there and let me tell you what there are some interesting ones for sure.

The uptight-control-freak-perfectionist: This type of parenting is one that means the parents are overstressed to the max. They expect their children to be perfect every single second of every single day. There is no room for error in routine or education. Parents of this style do not enjoy their children for who they truly are they end up loathing the fact that they are even children. I think parents who parent this way would be better off having a robot for a child. I have only seen a limited number of parents who fit this style and trust me they are not fun people to be around so I am glad I have only encountered them on a rare occasion.

The laid back-go with the flow-kids running all over the place: This type of parenting is one that means the parents are super care-free and don't know where their children are half the time. Yes people these are the parents who's kids are running around the store screaming and hollering or at the McDonald's play place carrying on like they were born in a barn. This type of parenting has no boundaries and their children have no rules so therefore there are no consequences and both parent and child live in a crazy, chaotic state of bliss. Don't get me wrong it is fine to be laid back and go with the flow but please set some boundaries! Again not the funnest of people to be around because I for one don't want my children thinking it is okay to act like wild animals in public.

The calm-quiet-never raise their voice-softhearted- but stern: This type of parenting is one that takes a person of great patience and lots of practice (I assume as I have never been this type of parent but SOO wish I was sometimes). These are the ones that give their children a soft spoken command and more often than not their children follow the command and do good. I love being around a parent and child who come from this type of parenting because it is always so soothing and quiet. BELIEVE they do exist and not just in Michelle Dugger.

The one, two...- I'm not going to tell you again-this is your last warning: This type of parenting is one that more often than not I fall victim to and have to remind myself not to do. I see parents who parent this way and they are always warning and giving empty threats to their children. The kids are not listening because they know for a fact that their is not going to be any action taken so they just keep doing what they are doing. I always seem to see this type of parenting at the swimming pool... "don't run again or we are going home!" Kid runs. "This is the last time I am going to tell you to stop running!" Kid runs. "I am going to give you one more warning!" Kid runs. Yea you get the point.

The loud talking-screaming in their kid's face-cussing-pulling on the arm-just plain nasty in public and Lord knows what happens at home:  I encounter these types of parents in so many public situations it makes me want to puke. They are sitting on their lazy bums not giving their child a bit of attention but man if something happens then they are all up in their face yelling and screaming and you can clearly see the child is scared out of their mind. When we were on vacation we were at the YMCA and this lady was not paying any attention to her rambuctous boys. One hit the other on the head and then nearly knocked over the candy stand because they were wrestling, well the lady FINALLY gets up off her booty and gets in the their faces and starts screaming about how they are terrible and that they are never going to do anything again in their lives and blah blah blah. Those poor boys were only trying to entertain themselves because their mom was so focused on her phone to give them any mind. UGH it just frustrates me when I see this type of parenting.

Of course there are the parents who fall in between and do a mix up of all and I am sure that the examples I have given you aren't strictly that type of parenting all the time. I am not judging any one said parenting style I just find it interesting that when one stops and looks around they can see so much.

I wonder what kind of parenting style someone who watches me would classify me in? I would hope that I am a combination of all of them but the last two!! I can tell you one thing, I am very far from perfect and often I wonder if I have failed my kids but then they do the tiniest little thing to make me realize I am doing a good job!

Friends...

Through my life I have learned that friends end up as your family and family often end up as your friends. Running a daycare makes this even more apparent to me because I have one giant extended family through all the people that come in and out of my home each day.

I literally have some of the greatest friends around, old and new!
I have been blessed to call my husband and my sister my best friends and the best friend naming doesn't stop there. I have two other very special BFFs who would do anything for me and "let the air out of someones tires" if need be and that is AMAZING to me! These four people in my life are what keep me grounded and sane! If not for them I would probably become a permanent resident of a plush, white walled room somewhere. So thanks to you guys for helping me through all the times- both good and bad!

I am for sure thankful for all the friends in my life not just my BFFs! It seems like lately I have added some great additions to the friend collection and these people are all very important to me as well.

It shocks me however that the word friend is often times over used or tossed around. I just can not understand when someone says they are your "friend" how they can do things that aren't friend like! Like for instance: people have tons and tons of "friends" on facebook but often times when they see these "friends" in public they don't even give them the time of day, seems kind of odd to me! I also think that true friends will take you for who you are and not try to change you. I have encountered these "fake friends" as I have started calling them many times and sadly looking back it started when I was younger and has only gotten worse.

Maybe if we all started to look at who we are calling our friends and make sure we are going to have their backs and going to help them not hinder them when the going gets tough and if not then don't call them a "friend" call them an "acquaintance"...

I will try to do better job....

Isn't it amazing how the sentence that is the title of this blog can mean so much?
For instance for me:

I will try to do a better job of keeping my blog updated...
I will try to do a better job at being a mother...
I will try to do a better job when dealing with friends and enemies...
I will try to do a better job sticking to my diet...

See how those words mean so much yet might be lost in the shuffle of life?

Anyhow, back to my blog, the one place I can let loose and show how I really feel, after all this is the reason I created this thing in the first place right? RIGHT!

There has been a lot happening in the Castrup Casa since I last posted. We have been through an entire summer and started school, yes I am way behind so I will go over our last few months in a nut shell!

April and May brought us the end of school and beginning of spring. We got through t-ball and pitching machine baseball without any major struggles. Kevin took a business trip and our house got plagued with the flu and not just the run of the mill typical ordinary flu... no it was the worst thing I have ever witnessed and poor Kalli took the worst of it. So daddy never gets to leave on business again. Kaden wrapped up his first year of actual school at Thomson and we were ready to dive into summer. I lost 30 pounds on a very strict and diligent diet plan and became a lot more aware of who I am as a person and how to live life to its fullest.

June and July lead us into Summer which used to be one of my favorite seasons but for some reason I got into a major funk this year and quite honestly didn't enjoy it like I normally do. I had extra kiddos with daycare and that was fine but we just seemed to be on the go constantly and I lost track of my weight loss goal and in a sense lost track of me and the new found living life to its fullest outlook. So I go back to that line I started with... "Next year I will try to do a better job of keeping my health and weight a priority!" Don't get me wrong we had a great summer and I enjoyed spending time with the kids outdoors and all the fresh yummy veggies our garden brought but I was just in a funk!

The beginning of August brought summer to a close and the end to my funk (thank goodness). It also brought us on a family vacation to Hastings Nebraska for a family wedding. It was a great trip and I enjoyed spending some quality, worry free time with my little family! I also decided to take a break from school until Kalli is closer to being in school full time because I am so close to being done and I don't want to burn out and not finish. It was a big decision but one I made with careful consideration and the full support of my wonderul husband. I have also started another round of the diet and plan to kick off that last little bit of weight and get back to running! School is back in full swing and we are on our normal routine now which makes this control freak of a mama very happy.

Like I said that is our past few months in a nut shell and I can only say that I will try to a better job of keeping my blog updated....

Day 05: A Barnyard Moosical

Kaden had his first school program last night titled A Barnyard Moosical and boy was it ever cute. His class was the “funky” chickens and he had a speaking part. He did so well! I got most of it on video and I tell you what that kid is so funny and definitely has a mind of his own. It was so much fun to watch all of the kids perform and see how different their personalities are.

Konrad and Kalli were so good during the program too. We had a little incident with Konrad wanting to sit by his BFF Avarie and Alex but he did okay once daddy told him if he was good he could get ice cream. So after the program we headed to McDonalds for ice cream which put us at 8:00 at night and that is a rare treat for the Castrup kids so they were up a little bit later than usual. Sometimes you just have to let loose and get out of routine!

Our quote of the day is Kaden’s speaking part: “No one’s going to make us into chicken stock! Because we’re funky chickens who know how to rock!”  If you all could see him doing this it would make it so much cuter because he has some funny facial expressions and body language!

Day 04: Weekend Recap

We have been busy in the days since I have last posted. I am beginning to wonder when life will slow down but know this won’t happen anytime soon. Wrestling is finished so that takes one thing off of our plate but we will be adding not only t-ball but pitching machine too starting in April. Kaden is in basketball right now and really enjoys it, I think he likes the fact that they win prizes the most, they don’t have any games it is more of a camp!

We spent the weekend outside as much as the wind would let us, man I feel like we are going to blow away most of the time and if we can catch the rare times that it isn’t blowing it is beautiful out. We also got to spend time with some of our favorite families for family game night at the Hass house! It was a blast as usual and a late night again but oh so worth it! I love being able to raise my family with several other families and know we can all get along so well. We truly are blessed!

I have been officially cleared with my little health scare and am feeling lots better thanks to some strong medicine. On our trip to the doctor, well while I was in the doctor actually, Kalli got car sick and threw up all over so her daddy had to clean it all up before they came back to get me and we made an impromptu trip to target and Konrad got a new booster seat so his sister could use his old car seat since hers was out of order! We did some other light shopping and then had lunch at the Olive Garden which happens to be daddy’s favorite restaurant and apparently my little piggies like it too because they chowed down on their raviolis. It was a fun day but we missed our Kaden who had to go to school and then had a sleepover for a friend’s birthday party.

We are gearing up for another busy week so forgive me if I don’t check in before Wednesday! Kaden has his first program for school tomorrow night and has a speaking part so I am excited to see how he does!

Kalli Elizabeth Castrup 6-23-2009

Our third and final born, another surprise in our life that came so close to her older brother and honestly I was not really excited in the beginning but who turned out to be my princess, my shopping partner, and a great completion to our family. Kalli looks a lot like I did when I was little but man oh man is she sassy and girlie like her Aunt Kendra. The girl has a temper on her that I have never seen and is a diva from head to toe, it amazes me that someone so little can be so set in her ways and knows what she wants. She loves clothes, shoes, and all things girl which is a big change from her 100 percent boy brothers. Kalli knows she is the princess of the family and knows that she has both mommy and daddy wrapped around her finger. I am amazed at how much she is talking now and she makes us laugh at the silly things she says and the way she is ALWAYS dancing and singing. We might have the next American Idol on our hands because she loves music. Even though she had a rough start and didn’t like anyone but me (I’m not exaggerating here) she has turned out to be a pretty social little lady and she does have her snotty moments but that is what proves that she is her own person. She loves to play babies and can often be found dragging three or four of them around with blankets and all. Nobody’s shoes are safe when she is around because if they are not on your feet she will likely be wearing them. Kalli is attached to her pappy (pacifier) and we are dreading the day we have to break her of it completely because well it is just going to be hard for us all. I love that she is a cuddly, kissy, and lovey little girl and hope that she continues this for awhile since she is my last baby. I can’t wait until she is older so we can shop, giggle, and do all the things moms and daughters get to do together. I am also so excited to see what kind of woman she will grow into. I love you Kallster!

Konrad Allen Castrup 12-9-2007

Our second born, the baby we tried so hard to have and who I had so many medical problems with that I truly believe is a miracle, and an amazing gift from God. Konrad is our little dare-devil, and I mean daring, oh so daring. He is not afraid of anything and one of the toughest PEOPLE I know. Before birth the kid endured more crap than most do in their whole lives and he came out absolutely perfect. He is one stubborn child and we all agree that this can be thanks to ALL of his great-grandpas. Even though he is stubborn he is pretty mild-mannered and goes with the flow of things.  Konrad will be the one that makes me prematurely gray because I am sure all of his great ideas will lead to lots of trouble when he is older. He loves Toy Story 3 and all that comes with it, Buzz and Woody have pretty much taken over our lives when it comes to Konrad. There is one thing that Konrad will not go without and that is his green blankie (made for Kaden by Grandma Jackie and handed down to him), when this thing is the wash it is the longest couple of hours of both our lives. Konrad will be in pre-school next year and I am having a rough go with this because I have always had him around me and he keeps me crazy and sane all in one. He couldn’t be more ready though and I know he needs the social stimulation and time away from mommy. We finally got him potty trained and man that was so EXCITING because I didn’t think we ever would, it all goes back to that stubbornness. Konrad’s favorite things to do are play with his brother (even if Kaden thinks he is too cool for him), hang out with his best friends (Avarie and Jilli), and watch movies with his green blankie. Konrad is always saying the funniest stuff and I think it is because of his speech, he struggled so hard with this before we got tubes in and sometimes I forget how hard it was for him to talk because he has come so far.  I am so blessed to have him in my life and can’t wait to see what kind of person he will become. I love you Konway-Twitty!

Kaden Robert Castrup 4-21-2005

Our first-born baby boy who was a surprise, a worry and a stress all in the beginning but turned out to be a blessing, a treasure, and a wonderful gift from God. Kevin always says that Kaden is a mini me in his behaviors, as he is extremely emotional and wears them wide open on his sleeve. Kaden has been curious and needing to know it all, he has a memory that amazes me. His first word was tractor and the kid has been talking non-stop since he was nine months old. His favorite things to do are: play video games and make-believe reenact what he has just played. The kid has an imagination that I cannot even begin to explain, he can turn the most simple of objects into an adventure. You can always tell when he is tired because he starts to whine about silly little things that happened to him during the day, seriously this is how I know he needs to get to bed and fast. His favorite food used to be spaghetti but now he wants nothing to do with it. Currently he is in kindergarten and is doing well in school, he struggled at the beginning with handwriting but has come so far and I couldn’t be more proud. He likes sports but doesn’t live for them, in wrestling we have learned that he is so strong and can do well if he would be aggressive but he has no desire to pin anyone down, which is okay because he has fun. He is a great big brother but often times forgets that his little brother and sister are A LOT smaller than him. The tenderness that he shows to our friend’s daughter amazes me because he is so gentle and adoring with her. The things he says make me laugh so hard sometimes because he is such a comedian and can really lighten the mood. I am so proud to be his mama and I can’t wait to see the man he turns into because he has already amazed me so far. I love you K-diggy dog!

My life

For the next three days I am going to explain each of my children so that everyone can get to know them better.

Day 03: Parent-teacher conferences and bullies

We got the pleasure of going to Kaden’s school and sitting down with Mrs. Gerk to check in on Kaden’s progress thus far in the year, I can’t believe my baby is ¾ of the way done with kindergarten. We took Kalli and Konrad with us as well and I was a little nervous on how that would go but all three of my amazing children sat quietly and listened, Kalli cracked us all up because she had her hands folded on the table and would point to stuff like Mrs. Gerk did and jibber jabber, it was a hoot.

Kaden is doing great in school and has made huge progress on his handwriting and working neatly, this was a big struggle for all of us at the beginning of the year and we have been diligently working to get him on the “write” (hehehe) track so I am pleased that our hard work has paid off. He continues to do great in reading, math, and the other subjects and we couldn’t be prouder of him. Lately we are dealing with a little attitude problem but discussing with other mom’s of six year old boys I see that this must just be an age thing. I sure hope it passes soon because I am tired of being the mean mom who has to yell and discipline him regularly!

Bullies:

Okay so I created quite the controversy on facebook with a comment about bullies, I chose to remove this because I didn’t want to make anyone mad. So I am going to put my view on my blog and then only those who want can read it.

I get that bullies are not always created by their parents or adults in their lives but from the experiences I have had with them more often than not it is by some adult influence that children turn into a bully. The stories I have seen (media) and heard prove to me that if we were proactive in the lives of our children (parents, teachers, school staff, and so on) then things like this wouldn’t happen. More often than not a bully is not reprimanded when they are caught the victim is the one that has to re-direct their lives and that in turn makes them feel isolated and could end up making them bully so then the cycle never stops. It seems to me that people turn a shoulder on bullies because many of us grew up in a time when you fought it out yourself (fist or words) and things were resolved, however in the day and age that we live now this is not going to work. We need to make sure that kids are not hurting each other physically or emotionally, no one and I mean no one should have to feel fear when going out in public and for sure not in their own home. I just feel that if we as adults take an active role in the lives of our youth we can begin to stop this bully war. I know it is so much easier said than done but what isn’t? It all goes back to the simplicity of monkey see monkey do and leading by example.

Quote of the day: Konrad

“My have lots of farts so that means my have lots of ‘xcuse me’s!”

Day 02: Birthday Boy

Day 02: Birthday Boy

We celebrated Kevin’s birthday last night because today (his actual birthday) is going to be crazy with basketball, wrestling, and Kaden’s parent teacher conferences (check back tomorrow for an update on how that went). Kevin got a smoker for Christmas and made smoked bbq ribs and a pork roast and I made twice baked potatoes, southwestern eggrolls, and cheesecake to go along with his amazing ribs! They were so tasty, I tell ya that guy has a gift for grilling/smoking! It was a fun evening even though when we do stuff in the smoker there are a ton of dishes and I feel like I am never going to get them all done. He got a big screen TV right before the Super Bowl so he didn’t get much else for his birthday this year, but I am sure he is pleased with his present! I guess to some birthdays aren’t as big of a deal when you hit adulthood but I still like to make it somewhat special. I am sure his work will do their share as well because they always do silly things on people’s birthdays. He has a great group of gals that he works with even if they boss him around all day and he doesn’t like it when I do it when he gets home too. I do have to say though they have come in pretty handy when giving him ideas for gifts for me, so thanks ladies!

I also got to take part in my nephew Jaxon’s baptism yesterday morning and the kids and I went out to Dad and Barb’s for a Mexican food meal afterward to celebrate. It was good to see all my sisters and for the kids to get to play together. We had to rush home to get things ready for Kevin’s dinner so we didn’t get to stay as long as we would have liked but it was still a good time.

Quote of the day: Kaden

"Mom if you ever died in a car crash I would cry so hard and I would never ever be able to replace you because I love you so much!"

-Often times I put funny and silly quotes from my kids but there is sometimes when they say things that melt my heart beyond belief and this is one of those times!

Day 01: Weekend Recap

Children’s Museum and Casa Bonita

It has been awhile since we all five could get away to do something as a family so I had planned a really fun day in Denver, however, life happened and Kalli and Kevin got sick and didn’t get to join us. So I turned it into a mommy/boy day and we met our dear friends “Uncle” Jimmy and “Aunt” B (Bri’) for the day. We started our day off at the Children’s Museum playing in all the areas and taking it all in. The boys got to make snack boxes with Jimmy and Bri’, which took quite the skill and I just melted at the how excited they both were while using all the tools in the workshop areas. We had a blast in the bubble area as well where I got to go in this booth with the boys and pull a rope that made a big bubble around us. Of course the hit of the museum was the huge real life fire truck that they have in the museum for kids to explore and “drive” while dressed up in coats and hats. We also got to sit in on the adventure of the day and learn about the painted turtle which is also Colorado’s state reptile and the boys got to make necklaces of the turtle, that was really fun and I enjoyed watching the boys in a learning environment. After the museum we headed to Casa Bonita. For all my non-Colorado friends and family I will give a little background on this place. It is a big palace looking pink building on Colfax in Denver that is home to some good family entertainment but the worst food around. It is a cafeteria style Mexican food that is edible but not gourmet. The entertainment includes cliff diving into the big water hole they have the restaurant centered around and several “gun” fights and pirates throughout the meal, there is also a cave, a magician and an arcade. The boys seemed to enjoy it all except the cave and I am pretty sure that Konrad was going to sit down right in the middle and not go anywhere, thank goodness for Uncle Jimmy because I am not sure I would have got him out of there without taking someone or something out. Kaden keeps talking about how Black Bart’s Cave freaked him out. I am claustrophobic so this too was an adventure for me! We had a blast doing all the things you do at Casa Bonita but were ready to be back within our bubble. As you all may or may not know I am not a big fan of the “city” and all the stuff that goes along with it so venturing out without my Kevy by my side was way outside my comfort zone. I had the GPS but got a bit turned around and ended up going south instead of north on the way home however my two passengers were blissfully unaware so I just turned us around and headed the right way for home. All in all it was a great day even though we missed our other two Ks and wished they could have been there to share in the memory making.

The beginning

I have always wanted to blog for the simple reason that I like to keep everyone informed about our happenings and the silly things that my kids say from day to day. A good friend of mine started one not so long ago and I decided after reading all her blogs to get started! So sit back and enjoy the daily happenings of the Castrup Ks!